airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
