Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
