You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
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