Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
