Don't you send me to vm
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize