She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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