My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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