Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
