i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
