Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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