I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
