Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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