I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
