how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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