Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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