I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
