I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
