I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
