Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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