Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
And then my night got REAL pukey
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
