just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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