Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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