i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
we're making bets on your personal life
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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