Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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