We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
