Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize