I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
