I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
