so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
