Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
