I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
