yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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