well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
