Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
