why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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