I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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