your room smells of hookers.
And success
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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