I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize