she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
