ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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