You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
