I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
