U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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