i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
