3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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