This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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