nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize