All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
