some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
