My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
