i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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