I think I am morally bankrupt
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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