I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize