his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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