that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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