i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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