it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
