Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
