Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
