There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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