I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
