Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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