This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
