I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
