Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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