Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize