it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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