even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
