I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
