My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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