I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
