5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
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