just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize