Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
