Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
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